A gentleman, a scholar, he’s an acrobat

23 01 2012

So around 18, nay 19 years ago now, our first offspring entered this world. I got my car stolen out of the hospital car-park while my wife was in labour, but it seemed like a fair trade at the time. I held her up to the window (baby, not wife) and said “welcome to the world”. The clouds parted and the sun came out. Not sure about in Canada, but in the UK, the new parents are rewarded for the effort with tea and toast. So awfully, awfully English, don’t you think?

Anyway, as she grew into a typical girlie-girl (this turned out to just be a phase she went through on her way to being a prickly teenager with a brain the size of a planet… and don’t you forget it, parent!), she briefly thought Barbies were tolerable as playthings, and declared she wanted “a pink Land Rover”. Now, the good old Defender was my dream vehicle for many years. Still is, I suppose – though not available in Canada. 😦

Wikipedia: Land Rover Defender

Wikipedia: Land Rover Defender

Given their “go for it” image, I never thought white was a particularly good colour though. “Shit brown” would seem to be a better choice, I’d have thought. Doesn’t show the muck up quite so much.

Wikipedia: Land Rover 90

Wikipedia: Land Rover 90

Anyway, one day in the shopping centre in our home town of Milton Keynes, there was a display of military vehicles. I was gob-smacked to see, not only a Land Rover that was pink, but one that belonged to the SAS! The SAS, you’ll recall, being the most hard-arsed fighting force on the planet. I guess it’s a bit like calling your son “Sue” so that Johnny Cash can make a song up about you. Turns out though that when you’re hacking around in the pinky/browny desert – where you’re not supposed to be, usually –  being in a dull pink vehicle is actually quite sensible. And lets face it, if you came across a bunch of SAS hard blokes in a pink car, you’re not going to say anything are you?! Not for long, at any rate.

Of course, in typical British style, these vehicles need a nickname, and so are called Pink Panthers.

Landy Land UK: SAS Pink Panther

Landy Land UK: SAS Pink Panther

This is the same ironic humour that had the survivors of the HMS Sheffield, hit and sinking fast into the icy waters off the Falkland Islands in 1982 stand on the prow (the dry bit) and calmly sing Monty Python’s “Always look on the bright side of life”, lead by S/LT Carrington-Wood, while waiting for a helicopter to rescue them.

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13 responses

24 01 2012
misfits' miscellany

The Pedant Panther would like to point out that your daughter’s marginally tolerable Barbie is awfully, awfully possessive. Nice post.

24 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

Cheers MM. Those apostrophes are little buggers sometimes! Give a comma an education and look what happens… they think they’re above their station.

24 01 2012
misfits' miscellany

Like squatters, difficult to get rid of too…well, possession is nine points of the law.

24 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

Re squatters… reminds me of a Terry Pratchett line:
You can light a fire for a man, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Light a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

24 01 2012
kianys

I now desperatly want a “pink panther” (maybe even more than a cute little pony named “buttercup”) – Not sure if it has the same effect though when driving around it in downtown (actually there is no uptown – so let’s just say central) Bonn, Germany in a business attire. I think you might be trading in some of the badassnes for a ditz factor.

Also I’m pretty sure, I would never ever be able to paralell park that thing anywhere. 😉

In any case, thanks for adding yet another unreachable desire to my already lengthy list 😉

24 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

I don’t think you NEED to parallel park those things. People would move out of your way…
Not sure they’d be much good in the rain, either!

24 01 2012
thoughtsontheatre

This was so cute. And dang, now that song’s stuck in my head.

24 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

Ba-dum, ba-dum…
Ba-dum, ba-dum…

Am I helping any?! 😉

24 01 2012
misfits' miscellany

How much is that doggy in the window,
woof, woof,
the one with the waggity tail?

24 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

I’m pretty sure Henry Mancini didn’t write THAT one!

24 01 2012
misfits' miscellany

It was a shot in the dark.

24 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

Good one, Centurion!
Best nudist colony scene ever…

25 01 2012
misfits' miscellany

Now that I can’t get out of my head…

Birdy num-nums.

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