I have some very erudite friends. Opinionated to be sure, but then, aren’t we all? One conversation was around how readily we make snap decisions and judgments about people based on the briefest of interactions – often without a word being spoken.
I was reminded of this set of photos (9 in all) from Bored Panda. The same two models in the same pose, but with different make-up and styling.
As you browse the photos, try and be aware of your snap reaction. I found it hard initially to remember they were the same people. The reaction is obviously driven largely by their styling and appearance. And at the end… we are no more aware of the “real” them at all.
I found it interesting how I reacted to the “attractiveness” (or mainly – not) of the young lady in the photos. I was quite disappointed in myself, as one rationalises how one would like to react… and is proven wrong by reality. (Extra points if you can tell which I preferred…)
Same Couple, Different Makeup, Clothes and Hairstyle (9 pics) | Bored Panda.
Quieter Elephant 
An interesting exercise. I found that, rather than constructing a judgement of their appearance or of even them, I was rapidly constructing a backstory — stuck in the 60s, Russian peasant, etc.
When we get dressed in the morning, and style our hair (or not), and put on makeup (or not), we are, actually in the most fundamental of ways, communicating who we see ourselves to be to the outside world. One of the best arguments I ever heard for a mom to make to a daughter who was dressing quite “racily” was that she was doing exactly that — telling people what to think of her, and that she needed to be really sure that the message that was being received was, in fact, the message she was intending to send.
It is an interesting experiment, to be sure. You’re right – how we present ourselves requests a certain kind of response – implicitly if not explicitly. On the other hand, it denies the option of “dressing for ourselves” – a reasonable argument I hear in response to “she was asking for it”.
Well I’m certainly not saying anything so ridiculous as to say that someone who dresses provocatively deserves to be raped, or even harassed.
But dressing provocatively does “say” that you desire a particular type of attention. Looking like a vibrant, “sexual” (in the I’m-not-yet-all-dried-up sort of way), fashionable person is important to me, and is definitely for ME as much as for anybody, but I don’t pretend that I’m not also wanting how I look to be appreciated. I might get myself all bedazzled (so to speak), and look at myself in the mirror and think something self-congratulatory (something in the “Not bad for an old broad” persuasion); but I also really like when someone else tells me I look nice. Can we help but see ourselves partially through others’ eyes? Maybe the most secure, confident, enlightened of us. I’m not all the way there. Yet.
We are indeed complex creatures. Cultures define “sexy” in such a variety of ways too…