Not one for the animal lovers…

9 01 2012

So I’ll begin by declaring my hand.

I hate cats. Not just “don’t like them”. I mean more of the “quite willing to sign up for any experiments being conducted to see how far they’d go if one were to kick them” ilk. I apologise if this entirely tongue-in-cheek line is offensive, but would point out that I did warn you in the title, so you only have yourself to blame. Agreed? OK, let’s continue…

Pigeons. Well, I have mixed views on pigeons. Knowing that the dodo (as seen on my rather spiffing tie) was a distant relative (of the pigeon, not me you understand. OK, so TECHNICALLY me as well. And you for that matter, but let’s continue, shall we? And stop distracting me so…) makes me feel a certain bonhomie towards them. I once saw stuffed dodos in the Rothschild museum in Tring. Actually – several times, we had annual tickets. They were stuffed. They tended not to move around between visits.

Wikipedia: Sarah Hartwell: Mauritius Dodo, Rothschild Zoological Museum, Tring.

Wikipedia: Sarah Hartwell: Mauritius Dodo, Rothschild Zoological Museum, Tring.

You can see why they were hunted to extinction, can’t you? Plus or minus some teenagers I’ve seen occasionally lurking in my house, it’s harder to imagine anything more gullible-looking. But I digress (moi?! Imagine that…). The more common image of pigeons is some scrappy flying rat, usually with less than the full compliment of legs, or at least toes, and trying to steal your chip butty while you’re not looking.

Flickr: Crippled pigeon

Flickr: Crippled pigeon

Or worse… crapping on your head. I had this last unfortunate experience while waiting for the lights to change in downtown Vancouver, so I could cross the road. I was careless enough to stand under one of the overhead lines that supply power to our lovely electric buses. I really must stop having that target buzzed into my scalp.

Odd Animals: Pooping on People book

Odd Animals: Pooping on People book

“Is this going anywhere?”, I hear the more fidgety amongst you asking. Eventually, I assure you. Patience, patience, dear reader – cross your legs if you must. This post is actually about cars. Bet you didn’t see that one coming did you?

Regular readers (or those OCD amongst you who have only just discovered these humble pages, yet have read all the back-posts) will be aware that I recently visited Brazil. Latest reports are that it’s recovering quite well from the experience and will soon be receiving visitors once more. Anyway – along with a statistically unnatural number of old-style VW Beetles, I also saw several Ford Kas.

Now the Ka (In the UK “car” is pronounced the same way, as it isn’t felt necessary or polite to pronounce every letter used to spell a word, as seems to be the case in North America. It’s like a lady’s age. It’s all known to be there, but a proportion of it is never quite admitted to,) went into production in 1996, but has yet to make its way onto Canadian roads. There’s a growing number of euro-sized cars here starting to counter-act the behemoth SUVs of the more ecologically irresponsible, and perhaps one day the Ka may join the Fiat 500, Mini, etc. After all, it’s a lot easier to find your lost earbuds for your iPod in a small car, and the North American love of automatic cars removes some of the risk of unexpected surprises from the gear stick when experimenting with more amorous options in the sub-compact.

No such issue with lack of Kas in Brazil… loads of them. This re-acquaintance with the nippy little Ka reminded me of a couple of TV ads I’d seen for the Sport version of the Ka… creatively named the SportKa! I’m sure someone got a bonus for that. From GM, like as not…

The tagline was “The Ka’s evil twin”, and the creative department must have had a ball making these!

Anyway, as a reward for you making it this far in my meandering waffle, I give you, the non-animal loving reader, two vaguely dodgy Ford Ka ads. I can put my hand on my heart and say without a moment’s hesitation that no animals were hurt in the making of this blog posting. Or possibly the ads either. CGI is a wonderful thing. I’m sure that’s not a REAL cat’s head. Probably.

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2 responses

10 01 2012
kianys

“Now the Ka (In the UK “car” is pronounced the same way, as it isn’t felt necessary or polite to pronounce every letter used to spell a word, as seems to be the case in North America. It’s like a lady’s age. It’s all known to be there, but a proportion of it is never quite admitted to,)”

= best line ever! I want to construct a post around it, I want to steal it and pass it off as my own (although I doubt anyone would believe me)

This post totally resulted in multiple evil laughs from my side – great start to a what will probably be a lousy afternoon 😉

10 01 2012
Quieter Elephant

I hope it improves for you.
I’ve been told my meeting minutes (should I ever get around to writing them) read like conversations, and people feel they’re actually there because of all the “asides”.
I would not survive without the power of the bracket! (See?)
You are free to take and (mis)use anything you like. Ideas are contagious… as is humour.
Though the line is itself original, I’m sure there’s some sub-conscious influence from all the Wilde plays I’ve been reading of late.
Amazing how many permutations of 26 letters there are!!
Go now – make someone smile!

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