Then this site is for you!
Western Pack Burro Association.
Yup, those Coloradans (that’s the proper name. I looked it up on the Interweb, so it must be true! 
) have a burro-racing season (May-September) to commemorate the gold rush races.
You can pull, push or carry your ass, but not put your arse on your ass. This is supposedly in memory of two miners who found the same strike, and had to race back to town to be the first to register the claim. Both had full loads on their mule, so had to stay on foot. Today though, it’s a full-on race. They’re actually donkeys not mules for the race – and a vet is on hand to make sure.
There’s a nod to the history, and each burro must carry a minimum of a pick, shovel and gold pan. Larger animals have a 33lb minimum weight to carry. Food, water and additional clothing is extra.
No wonder I keep getting slapped in the face, this is what the..er…slappers…think I’m calling them.